Delayed Gratification

For the past few months I’ve been struggling with the principle of delayed gratification. Delayed gratification is the ability to wait in order to obtain something that one wants. I believe I’ve been impressive with my impulse control. I have been dependable taking care of the right responsibilities. There is a point though where I can no longer delay gratification. I want what I want. I believe it’s become a need and I deserve a reward for being good. I think it‘s time to buy a new laptop.

I came across an interesting study that was done in the 1960’s by Stanford University psychology researcher Michael Mischel. His study demonstrated how important self-discipline is to success.

The study began with a group of children 4 years old. He optionally offered them one marshmallow immediately, but instead if they could wait for him to return later, they could have two marshmallows instead. He left for approximately 20 minutes. His theory? The children that could wait would demonstrate they had the ability to delay gratification and control impulse, both significant and important traits for attaining wealth and being financially successful. As you would expect, some children took one marshmallow, and other children decided to wait and received two later.

Fourteen years later, the simple study demonstrated the significant differences between the two groups of children. The children who delayed gratification and waited until Dr. Mischel’s return were more positive, persistent when faced with life difficulties, more self motivated and were able to delay immediate gratification in order to pursue their longer term goals.

The children who chose 1 marshmallow didn’t fare as well. They were more indecisive, mistrustful of others, less self confident and often more troubled in general. They were more obviously unable to delay immediate gratification.

Comparing the SAT scores of the 1 marshmallow students to the 2 marshmallow students showed that students that chose 1 marshmallow scored an average of 210 points lower than the 2 marshmallow students. Why? 2 marshmallow students are able to sacrifice immediate activity in the interest of more focused study time for a longer term benefit. The one marshmallow students were far more impulsive resulting in higher distraction and less focus on their school work. They fell for the old “Hey let’s go out, you can always study later“.

Lack of impulse control has proven to result in less successful marriages, low job satisfaction, bad health, overall frustration in life. All of these result in something that has significant negative impact on being wealthy: low income.

Responsibility

Everyone has responsibilities. Some are more important then others. It’s the choices that are made toward these responsibilities that determine a responsible or irresponsible person. It can be difficult being responsible in determining what are the right choices. I can pay rent or take care of a health problem. What’s the best or responsible choice in this situation? They both had to be and were done. Responsibility becomes the decision between want versus need. Taking care of the needs before the wants. 

The acceptance of personal responsibility is what separates the adult from the child. It's the great leap forward into maturity. Responsibility is the quality of the fully integrated, fully functioning human being. Responsibility goes hand in hand with success, achievement, motivation, happiness and self-actualization. It's the absolute minimum requirement for the accomplishment of everything you could ever really want in life. 

Our great aim in life is to develop character. Character is composed of self-esteem, self-discipline, the ability to delay gratification, and the willingness to accept full responsibility for our life and everything in it. The more we say to ourselves, "I am responsible," the stronger, better and finer a person we become. And every part of our life will improve at the same time.